Can't kill this sparkle

Never did I know,
somehow,
I had learned your freckles
the way children learn constellations in Astronomy
Or the lines in your hands
the way people know their way home.

Never did I think,
even in passing,
I would have to learn to live through skipped beats and sighs
in the mere mention of your name and not by looking into your eyes
Or that some morning you would find yourself unknowingly humming the tune to my favorite song
while oceans apart I toss in bed with hiccups.

Never did we stop and see,
closely,
What we had once, possessed the power to raise castles in dust
and the love I loved you with would make you coming back to me in some way or the other
Or that after we crumple and burn each other in our hearts
our hands would forever hold crushed stars to the world we once started creating.

Never really.
Until now.

© 2015 Neha Choudhry

Iris

So you did exactly what your heart asked of you
You picked her up, that mess of a little rebel she was and placed,
a tiara of hope on her head
some embers in her eyes
watch her bleed poetry
and bloody beautifully so.

Day after day
There she lay painting pictures of you in lights her world might never see
Who said it has to happen to be able to live it?
She could walk the blindfolded you through the roads she traversed
a thousand years in those numbered days
and gleefully so.

Do you remember her?
If you do, what about her?
Do you miss that innocent face of her while she sleeps?
Hard to believe what a mini-monster she is in the day, ain't it?
I eavesdrop her every now and then talking to herself about you in her sleep
and smilingly so.

I like the slope of her waist
and how the ice cube glides on it making her toss around and hug me
But I'm not sure how to feel about her
Were you?
I wish you were
and honestly so.

The long happy honey waves she wore are short to a grim pixie now
When was the last time you saw her?
Did she smile?
Of course she would have
then left it right there with you
and willfully so.

Steam rises and she walks out with a towel crowning her head
Everyday she scrubs some part of you off of her
or so she thinks.
And every time she closes her eyes
she remembers the spokes in your iris
and vividly so.

© 2015 Neha Choudhry

Coffee diaries

Time introduces things and gives you an impression that you are the one choosing. It builds you up making you believe that you are the one who gets to choose the color of the ink your destiny will be written in, the perfume your senses would wake up to as if you are born again and the gaze that will tear you down or build you up.

False. It's just an impression. Time handles it all anyway. It just rolls the credits well in time for you to know what all is going to be there, either for a while or for the entire lifetime.

But then again, some choices are left to you.

Like taking that first step off your porch in the rain, picking hydrangea instead of rose, preferring bitter dark chocolate over milk chocolate, ordering salad dressing on the side, reading your favorite book with torch light under covers when you have state-of-the-art kindle on your desk and who among the world you chose to love and be loved by.

It looks tempting. The way colors go around in a whirl when you stir it is beautiful. But that first sip is bitter of all the bitter put together. Now that's black coffee #101 for newbie. You keep the mug aside and vow to never try it again. There is stays on the counter-top for minutes while you go about doing your chores.

And then you pass by it and choose, "Let me try again" and sip it.

"NO! Never!", you say making a disgusted face. But you don't really put the mug down. And you sip it again. And again. And yet again. It's a new taste and hence is taking its time to grow onto you.

When you put the empty mug down, you already know it was worth the try (unless of course you just somehow went bottoms-up with it and didn't really like it or you are a tea person. In that case the argument stands for black tea w/o milk or sugar).

Black coffee is different.

And you choose it.

So is love.

You know it's bitter.

But you take the next sip anyway.

© 2015 Neha Choudhry

image source: http://bit.ly/1zN5Kev

Vanishing seconds

January 09, 2015

01:31 PM

Sometimes even the most coherent thoughts lay unavowed

Cos the best fit words we can't find

We sit in silence; hands clasped, heads bowed

Letting it all slowly seep in but not voice it out to remind...

© 2015 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook under the new pen name 'Encee'.

image source: self clicked

Days like this...

January 07, 2015
09:34 AM

Another sunrise
Some more wishful thinking
Another sunset
And a string of memories made, sealed, packed away!

© 2015 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook.

Leap of faith

December 08, 2014
06:32 PM

That one moment, one fleeting moment of finality is all what she needs sometimes. At times to silent the dementors hovering over her, waiting to catch her in that brief interstitial; at times to lull the world of anxieties she carries within. But mostly to give herself the bravado to finally step on the string that ties her todays and tomorrows, to let herself fall down to know for real what biting the dust is like, to gather every ounce of love hiding inside her and for once not want to scream that one name off rooftops but to whisper it in micro decibels to the air, making it the only confidant; the only one that ever got to know it all... Echo of the love once sworn.

© 2014 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook

Some conversation that was

October 19, 2014
11:39 PM

Him: "Why do you like winters?"
Her: "Like?"
Him: "Uf. Why do you love winters?"
Her: "Because I am naturally cold and you're not!"
Him: "How does that answer my question?"
Her: "Hugs are just so much more in winters."
Him: "Personal heater, am I?"
Her: "You understand me so well."
Him: "You're mad"
Her: "For you, absolutely".

;-)

© 2014 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook under the new pen name 'Encee'.

Strike a rhyme - II

October 15, 2014
12:06 AM

Staring at the blank sheet of paper is no new
While the pen rolls side to side
Where have the sweet nothings vanished, no clue
Fear dances in circles as a helpless her tries to find corners to hide.

© 2014 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook under the new pen name 'Encee'.

Strike a rhyme sometime

October 14, 2014
10:44 AM

There are things no glue can fix.
There are places tape doesn't stick.
Rusty leaves none can put back on trees.
Broken hearts untamed, free.

© 2014 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook under the new pen name 'Encee'.

Taming the scattered musings

September 26, 2014
10:45 PM

Leaving is an option
but staying is constant.

When something, someone leaves, there is something that always stays too.

Maybe a memory
when you sip your coffee and steam tickles your nose and you smile remembering something someone said.
Maybe a nightmare
you keep waking up with over & over again yet sleep back to finish it.
Maybe a scar
where the bracelet burned into your skin yet you wore it to have something of him with you always.

Something would always stay.

I'd rather have the person staying than all the memories, nightmares and scars scattered about without a source or destination.

Sometimes it's not about righting the wrongs or wronging the rights.
Sometimes it's about happiness.

© 2014 Neha Choudhry

P.S. Previously posted on Facebook under the new pen name 'Encee'.