Saturday, February 18, 2012

Time-turner

I wonder if being assertive ever hurt
for all I know it gave everyone what they thought
or if not that, maybe a chance to give it a try
at least a satisfying feeling to not have to cry
affixing the seal of past
in the future's passport
To not stay up nights
or screw up days
Self-drowning the poor little blood-pumping, life-giver in an ocean of reminiscence
And living with a smile on face when the majority knows it's a pretense.

I wonder if we stopped wanting
would the things still come to us
for as the famous saying goes
the universe conspires so.
But then how will one live
with no dreams, no desires
to have no wish
that one would want to see as reality
before they close their eyes forever,
to have no hand to hold
while the lips slowly speak of a life gone by
as the memories twirl inside,
as tears glide
as life pens down the final words
to the final chapter
and ends the script with a period.

I wonder how to feel
having known this awhile now
that I played my own destiny
Erasing away the 'Never', that preceded 'Meant to be'.
And then I grab a jacket
hanging in my closet
Fasten up my laces
glance around at few faces
Pull on the hoodie over my head
Play the paused rap
and run...
leaving behind ashes of a love
melting away the pain
forgiving myself for the bad choices
that landed me, at times, in crisis
forgetting everything I never got
and dream on
yet again.

If I stand empty-handed today
with my heart still beating
in sync with my breath
with no second thoughts on adding
a time-turner on my wish list,
I already have fought my fiercest war
I already have breathed life in myself
staring in the eye of death.

© 2012 Neha Choudhry

2 comments:

Priyanka said...

Thats with your words, they take one to an expedition of their own! Very well written, yet again, like always. :*
I love you!

Neha Choudhry said...

:) Every time I write something, I'm like 'Priyanka ko padhana hai ASAP'... U are my doll, my inspiration, my sweetheart! Mmuah..

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