Sunday, October 30, 2011


It was raining crazy
for it was monsoon,
with headphones on
lost in the music
and too busy stealing glances at you,
the skipped heartbeats
the butterflies
the stutters
the flutters
I never noticed pass by.
Coz every time you blinked your eyes
it set free in me limitless fireflies
and every time you looked at me
I was mesmerized.
You smiled,
I smiled.

As autumn arrived
nature cast its spell
leaves left trees barren
one by one they fell.
I defied nature
for my love blossomed manifold.
My heart on my sleeve I wore
An unseen path of life I set on to explore.
I woke up happy each morning
for behind these closed eyes
I lived beautiful dreams every night.
Every prayer started with your name
and I wished your happiness on stars.
For you were my heart's choice
unprecedented actions followed,
I expressed
for love is too beautiful to suppress
or hide.

With fingers intertwined
staring in each others eyes
so many blinking games
you let me win!
Racing through downpours
standing by each others side in odds
This crazy stupid love story
I dearly loved.
The differences made us see things in new light
we grew stronger with every clash, every fight.
Life's play list was set to something
the beauty of which my words can't define.
It was a walk on the clouds
with you by my side
as everything sparkled
and rhymed.

The wind changed direction
I felt the chill in your eyes
We walked together
minus words
as a million miles
separated our hearts
and froze us forever in time.
I was too hopeful to understand
that the days were over when I was yours
and you were mine.
I stood up nights
fighting with the skies.
With unanswered questions
and reasons undefined
I crept to the darkest corners
and missing you,
I cried.

In search of those tiny traces of us
I traveled to all the places we had ever been
not caring of the hurt they caused
for each glimpse of you was the living personification of love.
And once in a while when I met common friends
sharing pleasantries I forced myself to smile through it all
Your name in the conversation drew me to tears
brushing it off saying "something got into my eyes!"
I took to a secluded corridor
away from the questions,
"We'll be fine!"
to myself,
I lied.

I stand on cross roads today
hanging to every moment since you chose to go silent on me
a silence that stabs each living second of my life.
I had dark sides to me
but when it comes to you, I was always true.
As I killed the self-created demons inside
I yearned for your hand for support.
I resurrected my life from the scratch
and hoped one day you will take me back.
But every dream shattered to dust
For you gave up on me too soon.
Never did you care to see
that from deep down my heart and everything I had
to make up for my doings
I apologized,
I really tried.

I knock your door tonight
to not plead you to take me in.
I seek the boy I loved
to let him know
that his dearest wish came true
for the girl who kept holding on
finally fell through
and that
tonight is the night
for him
I died.

© 2011 Neha Choudhry

Disclaimer: This photo is a copyrighted property of Catalina Fedorova.


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