...you wished I was around!

Every now and then
I find a reason to make myself believe
no matter where I am today
no matter what I am,
as you reach out to turn off the alarm
every morning
you wish I was around.

Every moment, here and there
in interstitial spaces of time
no matter what you do
no matter the distances between us,
as you pass by an ice cream vendor
memories make you ask for two
and as you return one.
With a helpless smile
you wish I was around.

Every year on my birthday
as my friends text you a wish with a wink,
no matter how much you want to
no matter what happened between us
as you start to dial my number
half-way through, you put the phone down.
A tear trickles down your cheek
with a deep sigh
you wish I was around.

Every place that tells a story of us
is the one you never set your foot on,
no matter what all you do to avoid it
no matter how much you want to
We both know that it kills you
coz in your heart you long to
go there sometime
if only I show up.
With a sincere prayer on your lips
you wish I was around.

That day when I held your hand
I promised you love for n-lifetimes,
no matter who you finally choose to be with
no matter if it's not even me
as today, you put on that suit
the one in pocket of which awaits a ring.
You play your life back and forth
and picture the moment in your mind
as she holds out her hand
you choke as tears cloud your eyes
with a speechless, wordless desire
you wished she was me,
you wished I was around.


© 2011 Neha Choudhry